Tag Archives: feelings

Sometimes, I just wonder

Sometimes, I wonder
Am I in a world
Where nothing else matters
Except for today?

Sometimes, I wonder
Are people real
Or are we just flesh
That will disentigrate?

Sometimes, I wonder
Is there eternal life
And will I see my Mom
In heaven one day?

Sometimes, I wonder
About these vacation glasses
You know, do they
Make my eyes look big?

image

I don’t know, sometimes
I just wonder.

Advertisements

She Gives Me the Creeps

Who would have thought that after I posted this on a whim last week, the photo challenge this week would be “CREEPY”?  Had to repost it:

I was playing with my granddaughter the other day.   She was playing with her dolls.  I was playing with my camera.   And this was the result:

creepy

I don’t really know what it is.   I can’t put my finger on it.  But it gives me the creeps.   Is it just me?

She Gives Me the Creeps

I was playing with my granddaughter the other day.   She was playing with her dolls.  I was playing with my camera.   And this was the result:

creepy

I don’t really know what it is.   I can’t put my finger on it.  But it gives me the creeps.   Is it just me?

Gone, But Not Forgotten

So hard to chose just one for this week’s photo challenge, so I am not even going to try.

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Mom Collage

A Mother’s love is never forgotten.

RIP Cliffy 3-26-13

“Clifford” truly unconditional love.

200px-HoustonOilers“Love Ya Blue” – Never Forgotten!

One of “Those” Days

image

Thank God It’s Back

image

                            AMEN

My Anniversary

image

A year ago I started my blog with a story about my Mother.  Rather than post my stats and my “accomplishments” of the year, I have chosen this verse from Proverbs because it reminds me so very much of her.

You are dearly missed ~M

Thanks Dad? I think.

I went to church today and Pastor Mark preached about character and integrity.   These are the things that a father should have and want to be remembered for when they are gone.   It was a great sermon but it somewhat made me sad because I don’t remember my Dad for his character and integrity.    I then went on to read a lot of blogs today from bloggers worldwide thanking their fathers for being such a great Dad.   I thought about it a lot today and thought maybe I should thank my Dad too:

Untitled

Thanks Dad for changing your name and never letting us know who you really were.   I am glad that I do not know my heritage or any of my family members from your side of the tracks.   Even though I have no clue where I came from, I do know where I am going.

Thanks Dad for letting us know that you had two daughters before marrying my Mom, adopting her boys (my brothers) and donating your sperm for me.   If I could find Pammy and Lisa (yes, this is all I know about them) I would let them know how lucky they were that you walked out of their life and never looked back.

Thanks Dad for never taking me to church or teaching me about God.   It makes me so happy to know that you respected me enough to allow me to make my own choice about religion.  Because you allowed me to make my own choice about religion, I made poor choices about life in general.   God should have always been first in my life from the day I was born.   But you made sure that didn’t happen.  How dare anyone love someone in life more than you.

Thanks Dad for always making sure I knew how to make friends.   I mean, because we moved every two or three years I had to, right?   Because of that I tried very hard never to get close to anyone because we would be moving again.   I still have that ability.  The ability to distance myself from everyone.  They say home is where the heart is.  I never had a home.

Thanks Dad for making sure I always went to the doctor and to the dentist like I should have growing up.   Because I was so well taken care of I only needed $13,000.00 worth of work on my teeth when I turned 18 and was able to care for myself.   And that broken nose you never took me to the doctor for, well I finally got that fixed too when I was in my thirties, well after you had died from your drinking.

Thanks Dad for showing all of us how to drink really well.    Alcoholism, whether genetic or learned, you made sure it effected every one of us.

Thanks Dad for being sure we all knew what a strong man you were.   We were all left speechless every time you showed your strength when you beat one of my brothers, or even my Mom for that matter.

Thanks Dad for being such a great leader and for taking charge in the family.   Your guidance taught us so well.   We knew that as long as we pounded our own chest that everyone was sure to respect us.   Respect was not something we would have to earn in life, right?  As long as we controlled everyone we came in contact with we would be okay.

Thanks Dad for always being so proud of me in school.   For not attending my induction into the National Honor Society.  For not attending my high school graduation.   For not encouraging me to go to college.   Mom always said my mind was wasted, but who was she to speak up?   I’m still learning Dad, every day I learn something new.

Thanks Dad, for playing Russian roulette with Mom, literally.   Although she married you, she always knew she was the lucky one, finding one of the five empty chambers every time.    Did you ever think she would outlive you?  She didn’t.  She was certain you would kill her first.

Thanks Dad, for teaching me how to fish.   Yep, thanks Dad, I’m glad I know how to fish.

Wow, Dad.   Who would have known I would have so much to say “Thank you” for?   Really, Thanks Dad, because if it were not for you, I would not be who I am today.   That’s not to say that you helped or encouraged me to be the person that I am, but you certainly showed me who I did not want to be.

Fishy Fishy

image

Of all the fish in the sea, I wonder how many were thrown back by a man who didn’t realize what he had? 

Create Something Exciting!

image

This is the letter C of the ABC’s of Genuine Happiness.    Every few days I will be posting a phrase beginning with the next letter of the alphabet seeking your opinion or view on the phrase and how it relates to genuine happiness.

“Create something exciting”.     I am not to sure I can elaborate on this.   Do we focus on create or do we focus on exciting?   I have a creative mind and enjoy coming across new ideas and learning about something new.   I can’t say though that I retain everything I learn because I soak so much in at one time.   I think the key here is to be creative and to do something that excites you.    It can be something small, like a new tag line on your blog.  Or something big like a new motto for your family to live by.    Just venture out and do something new.  Don’t stay idle.  Or for people like my friend Becky, it can be finding a new football team to root for, like the Texans perhaps?

What is your opinion on the letter C:   Create Something Exciting

Leave a comment, write a post on your blog and ping back to me or tag your post with “ABC’s of Happiness” so I can find you in my reader.

Until next time … be thinking about the letter D:  Drink Plenty of Water.  Dance.